Guarding Your Soul
by InjusticeLeague
Summary: Jesse's life after Anna's death. No one cares . Least of all his family, the only one that ever cared, is gone. Review! Rated T for language.
1. Graduation

Balloons floated toward the sky, as caps were tossed in the air. Graduation. I hated the feeling of joy that swelled around me, I wanted to cry. To go crawl in a dark hole and never come out. and most of all, I wanted to leave.

Anna was already there, and Kate well... she may go. And if she doesn't, well that's just more neglect for me. I desperately wanted to join them. Anna. I missed her so much. No one understood me, but at least she tolerated me. She didn't hate me, like my mother. She used to love me, when I was 3 years old. Then, Kate got diagnosed.

There was no room left in the family for me. The first time I recall my mother's ignorance of myself was when I was 4. They tested my blood to see if I was a match for Kate as a donor. They stuck me, and I had cried. And, although my mother hugged me, I could feel it. There, in the eyes that used to seem that warm shade of green, the one's that tucked me in at night and told me she loved me. Those eyes had changed, not really, but in my head, I could see her eyes fade from that meadow-grass green, to a dull grayish smog. And, I was sure, that when Kate looked at my mother, her eyes shone like an emerald sun, with all of the love that used to be mine.

It hadn't been of purpose, I was sure of that. But, I couldn't help wondering what was wrong with me. Why didn't mommy love me?

Quite frankly, I was surprised to see my father glowing with pride out in the audience. Maybe, there was hope, for me. As I hopped off the stage and started my way towards my dad, I searched for my mom. She wasn't there.

Not even at my high school graduation, did my mother bother to come. No, she was at the f-ing hospital, holding Kate's hand while she slept. " Congratulations Jesse!" my dad cried through the crowd, pulling me from my angry thoughts.

" Thanks." I muttered insincerely. Anna would have come. She would have come instead of watching Kate sleep for 2 hours. My father grasped my shoulder, dragging me toward the carnival the junior's had set up.

All of a sudden, I couldn't help myself. I wanted him to admit it. " Where's Mom?" I asked in a conversational tone.

" She's ah..... she's at the hospital... with Kate."

"Figures." I say a little too loudly, the anger starting to bubble up inside me.

" Jesse..." my father warned as a few parents turned around, staring.

" Dad! Give it up already! Stop pretending that either of you even moderately care about me! This is my f***ing high school graduation. And you know where she is... she's at the hospital, with Kate! Her child, her Real child. I mean, let's face it, I'm not what you thought I would be. I'm just a disappointment. I know what you're gonna say, you're gonna say that she has to be there with her. But she doesn't! She can't miss 2 minutes of Kate f***ing sleeping, for her other child. " The traitorous tears started to flow. The onlookers gathered.

" Jesse please, we love you!" my father tried to calm me. But I was way past that.

" No you don't! Especially mom, she's to busy with Kate! Did you even notice that she didn't shed a tear at Anna's funeral, but she cries her eyes out every time Kate gets a nose-bleed. I hate my life! " I yelled.

My feet carried me away! I tore off that stupid gown, representing the mile-stone that neither of my sister's would reach. My face red and wet, I sprinted away. I needed to get away from here. I could go home and get my drugs... no. I could jump in front of a car, wait, that might not kill me. And as I ran, I began to care less and less, I just needed to escape, I'd find a way.

My father's car was close behind. He called out to me from the window, " Where are you going Jesse?!!?"

I spun around, surprising my father, who jammed on the brake. " Well, dad. If you guys ever decide to give a damn about me, I'll be in Hell!!!!! "

" Jesse wait! " he cried as I began to run some more.

I flew to ward the free way. I had just, remembered, Duracell Dan still had the gun I once swiped from my dad's office.

All I could think was " I'm coming home, Anna... I'm coming home...."


	2. Angel

Anna was beautiful, a glowing angel. I stepped toward her awe. She was an angel, not just in beauty, but she had those feathery wings that I used to imagine. She smiled at me, but didn't speak. She didn't need to, her smile was warm and full, something she never did when we were alive. That's when it really hit me, we were dead, I was dead. Now I was smiling too. For the first time I felt truly happy, like I could fly.

But now I was wondering, why was I even here? Like I had told my father, I should be in hell. Instead, here I was with Anna, in what I presumed was Heaven. Weird, I had never been a child of much faith, yet, here I was, in God's house.

All of a sudden, Anna lifted her arm, and gave a gentle good-bye wave. Wait, why was she waving goodbye? Then, as she turned and stepped away, my creamy white surroundings gave way, turning to that spotty red that you saw when you closed your eyes on a sunny day.

My eyes flickered open, revealing the pristine white ceiling and bright light of the Hospital. "Shit." I muttered.

I had failed.


End file.
